October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. The Actual Dance tells a story of MY journey in response to Susan’s diagnosis of stage 3 breast cancer in 2000
In recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness Month I post a blog each day with a reflection about breast cancer. The reflections all stem from something in the play. (All quotes are from lines in the play).
Day 11: Sex “We say good-bye to Susan’s breasts in no particularly ritualistic way. Susan doesn’t even seem sad to see them go. I wonder what she will look like without them. I don’t really care that they won’t be there; at least I don’t think I care. I do wonder sometimes if it will mean she will be less physically attractive to me, but I am no obsessing over that. Though I do think about how that might be more important to me if her prognosis were brighter.” The Actual Dance
It the retrospect of 50 years of marriage, the last 16 years post double Mastectomy, and my personal journey with The Actual Dance I have come to understand a (if not “the”) difference between sex and love. More about that tomorrow. For today, the good news perhaps for the men out there, and perhaps the women too, though I never allow myself to speak for Susan, it worked out just fine. Yes, there are times when I wonder and I miss that part of sex. And yes, it leads us to work harder (is it really work?) to make each other enjoy our intimacy.
Stat of the Day: How often and how long? You would be surprised. Experts suggest that the frequency of sex is over stated and the length of time one still has sex is under stated. Per month: 7 times (30 to 40 years old) 6 times (40 to 50) 5 times (50 to 60) and 60 to 90 + fewer but above zero! Source
Task of the Day: Have some fun. Check out the role of breasts in sex, for men and women. And here are some fun things that are suggested post-Mastectomy that might be fun pre-Mastectomy.
Resource of the Day: These are difficult conversations to have with people. Talking about sex is not easy. Breastcancer.org has a forum for just this discussion – sex after breast cancer. Check it out here.
The Actual Dance: Performances. Donate.
In recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness Month I post a blog each day with a reflection about breast cancer. The reflections all stem from something in the play. (All quotes are from lines in the play).
Day 11: Sex “We say good-bye to Susan’s breasts in no particularly ritualistic way. Susan doesn’t even seem sad to see them go. I wonder what she will look like without them. I don’t really care that they won’t be there; at least I don’t think I care. I do wonder sometimes if it will mean she will be less physically attractive to me, but I am no obsessing over that. Though I do think about how that might be more important to me if her prognosis were brighter.” The Actual Dance
It the retrospect of 50 years of marriage, the last 16 years post double Mastectomy, and my personal journey with The Actual Dance I have come to understand a (if not “the”) difference between sex and love. More about that tomorrow. For today, the good news perhaps for the men out there, and perhaps the women too, though I never allow myself to speak for Susan, it worked out just fine. Yes, there are times when I wonder and I miss that part of sex. And yes, it leads us to work harder (is it really work?) to make each other enjoy our intimacy.
Stat of the Day: How often and how long? You would be surprised. Experts suggest that the frequency of sex is over stated and the length of time one still has sex is under stated. Per month: 7 times (30 to 40 years old) 6 times (40 to 50) 5 times (50 to 60) and 60 to 90 + fewer but above zero! Source
Task of the Day: Have some fun. Check out the role of breasts in sex, for men and women. And here are some fun things that are suggested post-Mastectomy that might be fun pre-Mastectomy.
Resource of the Day: These are difficult conversations to have with people. Talking about sex is not easy. Breastcancer.org has a forum for just this discussion – sex after breast cancer. Check it out here.
The Actual Dance: Performances. Donate.
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