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Yom HaShoah -- Remember When you were 16?

4/27/2022

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​ 
Yom HaShoah, Holocaust Memorial Day, begins at sunset tonight, April 27, 2002   

Every year on this  day I think about Rabbi Lazlo Berkowits z’l”, a man with whom I developed what I came to call an “intimate relationship.”   We were 16 years apart in age. He could have been an older brother. Initially, I was just another congregant where he served as founding Rabbi, Temple Rodef Shalom, Falls Church, Virginia. We joined the Temple in 1973, 49 years ago.   I was an active member, became an officer, and by 1980 was President of the Congregation.

I had never met or known a Holocaust survivor before and didn’t quite know how to account for that in our relationship. He never mentioned it in those days, and I never asked. His story wasn’t a secret, and I was aware that he was captured by the Nazis when he was 16 years old and liberated a little over a year later when he was 17 years old by soldiers of the 82nd Airborne Division of the United States Army.

I remember as I write this a particular evening in 1982. It was Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, and as President of the Temple, I would give a talk during the service.   Now, 40 years later, I remember it as if watching from above as I get up from my seat and walk past him, look over to see his wife Judy Berkowits z’l” also on the Bema, smiling, and I stop for an instant. “What were you doing Sam when you were 16 years old?” flashes through my mind. And in that instant, I sensed the enormity of the journey and the miracle of this man and his story.

Since that time, he and I became like brothers, and we have traveled together before his death many times to the exact place where he was liberated on May 2, 1945.  Two months and 16 days before I was born. In some ways, we were both born in the same year. Lazlo passed away at the age of 92 in 2020. He inspires me still. He taught many things to many people, but among the most profound lessons he taught me was the power of the “kindness of strangers.”   In his last years, as we would have lunch together every Friday, he would often recount his appreciation of the people in his life who did not know him, yet helped him.

I want to share today my blog from 2017, five years ago, on Yom HaShoah.   Please read it here, and you will find there link to a video of him thanking members of the 82nd Airborne, and hear his voice   
​
For more information about Yom HaShoah, you can explore the United States Holocaust Museum website. https://www.ushmm.org/online-calendar/event/NADOR0422
 


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The Exodus Story of Ukraine -- Getting to Dayenu

4/14/2022

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                The play and the book, The Actual Dance, speak of a journey from the edge of life’s abyss to a place of wholeness and hopefulness.

                The metaphor, a dance, is based on my own experience of facing the loss of the person I love most in the world and losing my grounding in life.  I was experiencing something that held an answer, and yet I could not see it.  The fear and the anticipated pain were too great. In fact, it took me nearly 9 years to understand and reconcile what had happened inside me during that time.    

                As the events were happening, though, I could do only one thing – take care of Susan and our family as her prognosis grew dimmer and dimmer. I was blind and could not imagine the worst nor see past what seemed inevitable.  Yes, multiple dilemmas.

                The experience has since defined my life.  My professional and personal passions now are based on those confusing and complex times.  Now, together in our 55th year of marriage, life is so good that I occasionally think, Dayenu, this would be enough.  If life ended today, I would go as a blessed human being.

                The question then is how do people facing great personal challenges and tragedy continue in life and get to Dayenu?  How do we not get discouraged, and give up on ourselves and lose faith in our future?

                These thoughts come as I witness the horrors of the genocide in Ukraine.

               I am led to a different understanding of the Passover story. It seems to be one of liberation and joy, God leading the people from slavery to freedom. I wonder, no I doubt that narrative.  I think I think it might be better understood and the long struggle for wholeness and autonomy.

              In Egypt, imagine, living in your homes, homes that went back multiple generations, back even when Joseph was there, and the Jews were treated well.  Yes, life became difficult, and there was forced labor, yet clearly, the Jews lived in their own homes.  Then comes Moses whose contest with Pharaoh ends up with a a series of plagues ending in a night of mass death. On that night,  all around men and boys – firstborn Egyptian sons, are struck down.  The sounds of tears and despair by Egyptians is deafening.
 
              You couldn't sleep through the terror, and then you are told in the morning to pack up all your belongings and flee.  Okay, some of your neighbors consider you a part of the plagues and give you gifts of gold, not out of appreciation, but instead of fear and to get you to leave. You pack-up what yo can, and leave behind most of what  you own. You have no idea where you are going.

                I think today of Kyiv and other towns bombed, buses and trains of families fleeing the horrors of the night.  The battle for Ukraine is a battle too for freedom.  We tell our story of Passover as if the Jews on the morning after were celebratory.  I would think the opposite, that they were frightened and doing what they had to do to save themselves.   They fled Egypt in fear.

                As they traveled there are stories of great trials and miraculous survival.   The Jews repeatedly had their doubts, and would often challenge Moses, and ultimately built a frigging Golden Calf. A total lack of faith and fear at that moment.  

                   Some of those calf builders repented, yet many among them did not and as a result, died.   The story says they were killed for worshiping the idol calf.  I wonder though if that is a metaphor only for giving up in the middle of a battle between good and evil, and the reality that some always perish. It really isn’t their fault nor were they evil idolaters.  Rather they stood for the tired and weary who could not continue the journey, it was just too hard. They wanted a magic idol to somehow bring them back to safety, while Moses was offering a long journey.

                I think I will now always understand these stories differently.  Not of miraculous events of God’s intervention and destruction of our enemies, but one of the inspirational feats of good people, to survive hardship and evil, and then to create a society of good and grace.  Battles are fought, and not everyone survives.
                We learn the process can take generations.  I hope the dreams of Ukraine can be fueled by the Passover story.  Not one of the miracles by an intervening God, but rather one of inspired grit and determination by good people to stop evil and find good.  The people are the miracle. Dayenu 
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COMING OUT -- MY NEXT JOURNEY

4/1/2022

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​​            I have been sitting staring at the screen wondering just how – or perhaps if – I should write this blog. Should I tell anyone or keep it a secret?

              Of course, I set the situation up, so I do not really have a choice. I recorded an interview with two wonderful people, Kat Hartley and Nancy Nelson.  One is Dangle and the other is Dot, and they are extraordinary people working to make the world more friendly for people like me.

            In 2018, about five years ago, I was diagnosed with “Mild Cognitive Impairment.”  Last year, after a series of brain scans it was determined that the source of my impairment is Alzheimer’s Disease.  So today, depending on which doctor I talk to, I have Early-Stage Alzheimer’s, Alzheimer’s Disease with Mild Cognitive Impairment, or simply Mild Cognitive Impairment. Why the confusion? Well, a definitive diagnosis of Alzheimer’s isn’t possible until an autopsy is performed.  ​


       It occurs to me that I am prepared for this next journey in my life, and in an odd way I’m looking forward to it.   I’ve been here before. Well, sort of.

         Susan’s advanced breast cancer diagnosis and how we dealt with that era of our lives have been great training for both of us.  The shoe is just on a different foot.   The experience and time I spent on the board of the World Institute of Disability, as a “non-disabled person” at that time, also gifted me with a vision of how to be in the world with what I will now face.   Then, there is Lynn Fielder, my friend and now role model who has taught me how to embrace what I am, whatever that is, as who I am!   All those stories are in the book, The Actual Dance, Love’s Ultimate Journey through Breast Cancer.

            Now, I meet these inspiring ladies, Dangle and Dot – and they are teaching me how to integrate all that is happening to me into the new reality of a life-altering diagnosis – dementia.  They are activists, among other things, in a movement called “Dementia Friendly.” 

            What a scary word -- dementia.  I am reminded of my introduction to the disability movement about 40 years ago when ideas of reshaping the world to accommodate and work with people with significant disabilities were viewed with great skepticism.  “What, change all the curbs in on streets in America for what? Who’s going to pay those bills?  And besides, look around, there are no people in wheelchairs around.”  I heard those words, and then, as the physical world was changed, we saw people in wheelchairs, walkers, and even baby strollers everywhere! 

            Dementia Friendly is like that early disability movement, and it has already helped change my life. It started in Britain and is now available to be implemented in every city in America.   The goal is to bring full awareness and accommodation to people with dementia as has been done with other disabilities. The stereotype of mental illness and dementia can manifest similarly.  The stereotype is that people with this disability are broken and cannot be fixed.  They cannot be accommodated.  People “like that” -- like me now -- must be isolated, cared for in nursing homes, or the like. It just isn’t true.

            I am still exploring what it means for me.  My goal is to keep performing The Actual Dance, talking about the journey with Susan, my life partner, and one day soon begin writing more about this phase of the journey.  It is part of who I am.
​
            Now I invite you to enjoy our conversation!  
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    Sam Simon

    Samuel A. Simon is the playwright and performer of The Actual Dance. 

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