<![CDATA[The Actual Dance - a one-man play and story that explores what love really means

<![CDATA[The Actual Dance - a one-man play and story that explores what love really means - Blog]]>Fri, 10 Oct 2025 04:47:48 -0400Weebly<![CDATA[Valentine's Day 2023 -- It's a Secret]]>Tue, 14 Feb 2023 15:49:00 GMThttps://www.theactualdance.com/blog/valentines-day-2023-its-a-secret

"The Actual Dance is a beautiful, powerful and timeless in its messages." --James Fallows, Award-winning author, national correspondent for The Atlantic Monthly.

"This startling memoir is a celebration of love and hope, where the sick heal the caretaker and the caretaker learns humility and happiness." Rabbi Naamah Kelman, Dean, Hebrew Union College, Jerusalem, Israel.

"A poignant reminder of all we take for granted in our lives.' William Kennard, Chairman of ATT, former Ambassador to the European Union.

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]]><![CDATA[Love and Time]]>Tue, 07 Feb 2023 20:31:20 GMThttps://www.theactualdance.com/blog/love-and-time3582109

LOVE AND TIME

This blog is a repeat from 2020. After reviewing some previous February blogs, this one is really sticking in my mind. Maybe it is because now i sense my time as being more finite. A diagnosis of an incurable disease will do that to you.

In 2020 I noticed a Valentine's Card, which I did end up buying, that had a front picture of a dinosaur munching on some roses, with the line: “I will love you until the end of time …. “   On the inside, it added: “And a little longer.”

It made me think about the idea of the timeless nature of love.

With time things age. Age suggests older, worn, changed and perhaps weaker or dissipating. It suggests something tangible. Time can also suggest maturing, blooming, coming from nascent to “full blossom” so to speak. Positive of course, and yet there will be a fading.

Love though is of a different nature.   Yes, it can be viewed in the context of a traditional, clock based time. How ‘long’ does it take to fall in love? When do you ‘know’ that you are really in love? Is it possible to fall out of love?   These are all in my sensibility traditional clock related time references.

Love though also exits outside of time. A love that always is and always will be. It sounds like, I know, a religious view of the divine which transcends the time of nature; and maybe that is so. Maybe love is in fact just that, something that transcends the natural world. Unique.   A binding of breath and soul of people into an existential oneness.

The challenge to finding this type of love is itself time related. The elements of concrete nature. The human condition. Our own seeking to understand and control and be in charge.

In The Actual Dance, the play and book, contain the line: “I don’t think two 20 years old kids really understood what love meant.” That was when Susan and I decided to get married. In 1965. And yes, during these many years we both went though our own efforts to be in control, to understand and know in a more concrete way what exactly life and love is about.

We have through our lived experience begun to understand the different nature of “what love really means.” The discovery of that essence that makes us part of the other. I have had to think about these ideas now in the context of my current condition == "dementia" -- Alzheimer's

My assessment is that Love is cumulative, and non-exclusive, and that it never ends. It just expands.

So yes, there is a mystery to love. Here is the poem I wrote.

A Little Longer

I wonder if time can ever end
Time not measured by a clock
The time that exists inside of US
The US of you and me
A love that is and was and always will
The love that lasts to the end of time
And then a little longer

(c)Samuel A Smon 2020

A Valentine Day Special --Make a contribution to the Actual Dance $25 or more, and I will send you a signed copy of the book, "Love's Ultimate Journey Through Breast Cancer" -- A perfect gift for the one you love.
Donate here

"The Actual Dance is a beautiful, powerful and timeless in its messages." --James Fallows, Award-winning author, national correspondent for The Atlantic Monthly.

"This startling memoir is a celebration of love and hope ..." Rabbi Naamah Kelman

]]><![CDATA[LOVE]]>Thu, 02 Feb 2023 05:00:00 GMThttps://www.theactualdance.com/blog/love

I am reposting this from July 2014. As part of my February Love Month --- Sadly, Jacob Needleman passed away in 2014. Thinking today about his insights, I have come to believe that Love -- or the commitment to Love -- is the capacity or sense of singularity with the other, not just a spiritual oneness, rather a oneness in our engagement with the other. It is what I have learned from own work.

Jacob Needleman

     I just finished reading “The Wisdom of Love” by Jacob Needleman.   Exploring the idea and meaning of love is part of my own journey to understand some of the existential questions raised by “The Actual Dance.” I am sure it sounds odd for the playwright and performer of a show to be seeking understanding of what he/she has written and performs. Perhaps this is an indicator at how profound an impact this process has had on my own life.

     One of my first discoveries on this journey was that the play, in part, is about what love “really means.”   The Actual Dance portrays the journey of two twenty-year old kids from when they first meet and decide to get married to the point in time when one of them is faced with a life threating disease. From “I wonder if they really understood what love meant” to “I think I now understand” how I can dance The Actual Dance. Meaning, I think I know what loves really means.

            Jacob Needleman I hope will agree that the path described in the show is one “Way,” the term for the journey he uses in his book.   His focus is on what he calls “wisdom traditions” of “The Way.” “The Way” being paths to discover or experience personal enlightenment. Enlightenment as I understand from or as I interpret the book is the Love that is the divine. Not romantic love or popular understandings of affection, but a form of intimacy and integration with the divine source of all life inside of us and with our conscious mind. My own approach is reflected in the poem US , which suggests that life exists within each of us as a spark of the divine and that love “happens” when that spark intertwines with another.

            In other words, it is possible for two people to become “One” through love.   That is, our own divine sparks or life can intertwine with another so that the two become as One. Last month in discussing “Levels of Love” by Julian Barnes, I talked about how the love between two people creates something bigger and more than just the two people. I cited Barnes’ arguments that when love exist between two people, then when those two people are added together you get three not two; and when you take one of them away then the loss is even greater -- perhaps four.

            The revelation offered to me by Needleman’s book is that there is a difference in kind or “quality” of the love that Barnes focuses on and that which Needleman describes. The Needleman One is from within and without and is not based on our human condition. Grief, on the other hand, is a human or egoistic experience, one of the many human emotions that are real and experienced in the moment within our human body and mind. Needleman though argues that there is inside of us something else, something beyond ‘human’ something of the divine. The difference then between grief and love is that love, properly experienced, is not an idea or feeling or pain, it is an experience, a spiritual awareness (awakeness) of or to the divine of who we are.

           I was not surprised then to read Needleman say:

        “In times of grief, immediately following the death of a loved one, it often happens that all egoism vanishes, that no trace remains of personal emotions such as anger or resentment or self-pity or any impulse toward personal gain. … In face, it is surely a taste of the kind of love we hear about in sacred writings and in the stories of holy men and women.” (p. 104)

            My experience of this moment came not after a loss but in anticipation of the loss. The Actual Dance arguably is about “the Way” I came to that moment. How I found that “taste.”

        Needleman ends his book with a number of questions.

        “But is the love that is given to us meant to be the answer to the finitude that brings us to question who and what we are? Love is surely the answer to death. But what kind of love? And how do we find it?”

         The Actual Dance is a love story. It may not answer these questions, though it might suggest several possible answers. Instead, what it does, is to validate that they exist and that the search is not futile.

]]><![CDATA[What does ChatGpt Know About Love?]]>Wed, 01 Feb 2023 16:38:00 GMThttps://www.theactualdance.com/blog/what-does-chatgpt-know-about-love

Happy February -- Valentine's Day Month.

So I'm thinking, after 10 years now, what new can I blog about now on Love. It is February right, so I have to blog about love! How can I find some new, exciting insight to share? Why, ask AI -- What does the artificial world know about real love So I asked my buddy, ChatGPT to write my blog. This is what was offered:

"Love is a complex and multifaceted emotion that has been studied, written about, and experienced by people throughout history. It is a feeling that can bring immense joy and fulfillment, but can also lead to pain and heartbreak. Despite this, love remains one of the most powerful forces in the world and continues to inspire and shape our lives.

At its core, love is a deep affection and caring for someone else. It is often characterized by feelings of tenderness, compassion, and selflessness. People can experience love for family members, friends, partners, and even for strangers. Love can bring people together, strengthening relationships and fostering a sense of community and belonging.

One of the most powerful aspects of love is its ability to inspire us to be our best selves. When we are in love, we may feel more confident, courageous, and motivated to pursue our dreams and goals. Love can also help us to see the world in a more positive light, bringing a sense of peace and happiness into our lives.
However, love is not always easy. Relationships can be challenging, and the intense emotions that accompany love can sometimes lead to conflict, disappointment, and even heartbreak. It is important to approach love with an open heart, but also with a clear understanding of our own needs and boundaries.
At its best, love is a force for good in the world, bringing people together and inspiring us to be kinder, more compassionate, and more understanding. Whether it is between partners, friends, or family members, love has the power to bring joy, hope, and happiness into our lives.

In conclusion, love is a complex and powerful emotion that has the ability to bring immense joy and fulfillment, but can also lead to pain and heartbreak. Despite its challenges, love remains one of the most important and meaningful experiences in life, inspiring us to be our best selves and to build strong, loving relationships with others."

Signed, ChatGPT

Yeah, I know, doesn't do much for me either. So here, listen to the music of my heart, and the love poem, US, and rest and think about the one you love most in the world.

A Valentine Day Special --Make a contribution to the Actual Dance $25 or more, and I will send you a signed copy of the book, "Love's Ultimate Journey Through Breast Cancer" -- A perfect gift for the one you love.
Donate here

"The Actual Dance is a beautiful, powerful and timeless in its messages." --James Fallows, Award-winning author, national correspondent for The Atlantic Monthly.
"This startling memoir is a celebration of love and hope ..." Rabbi Naamah Kelman

]]><![CDATA[Being Thankful For the Opportunity to be a Family Caregiver]]>Sat, 26 Nov 2022 18:35:09 GMThttps://www.theactualdance.com/blog/being-thankful-for-the-opportunity-to-be-a-family-caregiver

National Family Caregiver Month

"The Actual Dance is beautiful, powerful, and timeless in its message," James Fallows, Award-winning author, and national correspondent for the Atlantic Monthly.

The Actual Dance is one of the most beautiful love stories ever told. It is about finding dignity and inspiration in one of the most difficult tasks in life: being with a love partner as they struggle with a life-threatening illness. You will be taken through one of life's unchartered journeys, when resilience and the power of the human heart must persevere.

The award-winning performance moves audiences to laugh, cry and then cheer.

The Artists Behind The Actual Dance
Written & Performed by Samuel A. Simon
Director & Dramaturg: Gabrielle Maisels
Music Composer: Eli Zoller
Musical Director: Mike Rosengarten

ORDER THE BOOK

]]><![CDATA[Family Caregiving Alone -- A Different Experience]]>Mon, 21 Nov 2022 18:38:07 GMThttps://www.theactualdance.com/blog/family-caregiving-alone-a-different-experience

National Family Caregiver Month

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]]><![CDATA[CRAZY CAREGIVER STORY: Don't Don't Do This!]]>Mon, 14 Nov 2022 20:59:45 GMThttps://www.theactualdance.com/blog/crzy-caregiver-story-dont-dont-do-this

National Family Caregiver Month Blog

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]]><![CDATA[Family Caregivers Are Not Burdened]]>Thu, 10 Nov 2022 20:01:32 GMThttps://www.theactualdance.com/blog/family-caregivers-are-not-burdened

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]]><![CDATA[NATIONAL FAMILY CAREGIVER MONTH 2022]]>Thu, 03 Nov 2022 19:59:14 GMThttps://www.theactualdance.com/blog/national-family-caregiver-month-2022

November is National Family Caregiver Month. Click here to read President Biden's Declaration.

"The Actual Dance is beautiful, powerful, and timeless in its message," James Fallows, Award-winning author, and national correspondent for the Atlantic Monthly.

The Actual Dance is one of the most beautiful love stories ever told. It is about finding dignity and inspiration in one of the most difficult tasks in life: being with a love partner as they struggle with a life-threatening illness. You will be taken through one of life's unchartered journeys, when resilience and the power of the human heart must persevere.

The award-winning performance moves audiences to laugh, cry and then cheer.
The Artists Behind The Actual Dance
Written & Performed by Samuel A. Simon
Director & Dramaturg: Gabrielle Maisels
Music Composer: Eli Zoller
Musical Director: Mike Rosengarten

ORDER THE BOOK

]]><![CDATA[BECOMING WHOLE AGAIN -- AFTER THE DANCE]]>Wed, 26 Oct 2022 04:00:00 GMThttps://www.theactualdance.com/blog/becoming-whole-again-after-the-dance

"The Actual Dance is beautiful, powerful, and timeless in its message," James Fallows, Award-winning author, and national correspondent for the Atlantic Monthly.

The Actual Dance is one of the most beautiful love stories ever told. It is about finding dignity and inspiration in one of the most difficult tasks in life: being with a love partner as they struggle with a life-threatening illness. You will be taken through one of life's unchartered journeys, when resilience and the power of the human heart must persevere.

The award-winning performance moves audiences to laugh, cry and then cheer.
The Artists Behind The Actual Dance
Written & Performed by Samuel A. Simon
Director & Dramaturg: Gabrielle Maisels
Music Composer: Eli Zoller
Musical Director: Mike Rosengarten

ORDER THE BOOK

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