October Breast Cancer Awareness Month Daily Blog -- Day 13 The Ballroom
The Actual Dance is a play that presents the events of the year 2000 from the point of view of the spouse of the woman going through breast cancer. From diagnosis to her life as a survivor, Susan Simon, my wife has endured. An unlikely survivor. The Actual Dance is the story of that experience from my perch. The husband. This the 4th year of my October daily blogs, my focus is a bit more on myself.
Day 13: The Ballroom: “I don’t want to be here. I don’t do this stuff well. Hell, I barley changed the kids diapers and no I am helping Susan vomit. I really, really don’t want to be here. Yet I don’t know where else I could possibly be. All of a sudden I find my self standing in the center of an empty grand ballroom…”
These lines represent the transformation from the role of caregiver into that yet undefinable role of sacred partner whose heart is shattering. A shift in consciousness from the time and place of the unthinkable and unbearable to a place of unlimited love and light. I would escape – literally leave the “present” and enter into this place and time of “the ballroom”. It wasn’t a place I had ever been or read about or thought about. It just showed up—it is where I had to be when I couldn’t be where I was.
The Ballroom is a sacred place. It has a very high ceiling, brilliant spotlights, and platform for a larger orchestra and beautiful, long highly polished blond, wood dance floor.
It is the place where I will dance The Actual Dance with Susan. The ballroom wasn’t anything I ever read about or thought about before. It just happened.
Stat of the Day: About 85% of breast cancers occur in women who have no family history of breast cancer. These occur due to genetic mutations that happen as a result of the aging process and life in general, rather than inherited mutations. Source
Task of the Day: If you or someone you know is facing breast cancer search out to a “breast care navigator.” They exist in many places in many forms. Most hospitals now employ one and many independent cancer support groups offer the same type of help
Resource of the Day: Check out this web resource from Beth Israel Hospital that focuses on the spiritual needs of the partner. They use the language still of ‘caregiver’ and yet it seems to me they are acknowledging the role of “partner.”
The Actual Dance: Performances. Donate.