The Actual Dance - a one-man play and story that explores what love really means
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Samuel A. Simon Returns To The New York Stage To Present Three Showcase Performances Of THE ACTUAL DANCE

The Actual Dance, will return to APAP 2023 taking place at The Midtown Hilton Hotel.
Broadway World press release here

​FAMILY CAREGIVERS: Unpaid. Overworked. Underappreciated. How To Succeed Without Becoming Patient #2

​In this video of a February 2022 program presented by JALBCA, leading experts on caregiving offer first-hand experiences and resources to support caregiver health and success.
 
Opening Remarks: Hon. Marguerite Grays, JALBCA Co-President
 
Moderator: Peter J. Strauss, Esq., Senior Partner, Pierro, Connor & Strauss; Director, JALBCA; Distinguished Adjunct Professor of Law, New York Law School
 
Panelists: Rev. Gregory Johnson, Inter-faith Minister for Family Caregiving; Chief Advisor for Family Caregiving, Office of the CEO, EmblemHealth
 
Sheila Warnock, Founder & CEO, ShareTheCaregiving Inc.; Co-author, Share The Care
 
Samuel A. Simon, playwright & author, The Actual Dance: Love’s Ultimate Journey Through Breast Cancer

Interview with Anne Anne Llewellyn, Nurse Advocate/Digital Journalist

Check it Out Here

Onward, In Love and Caregiving Interview with Greg Johnson


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Or Listen Here

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Sam's story is featured in The New York Times Faces of Cancer series. 
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Read it Here
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PictureActor Chuk Obasi and Playwright Samuel A. Simon. Photo courtesy of "The Actual Dance."
A 'Life-Affirming' Journey: Playwright Samuel A. Simon and Actor Chuk Obasi Discuss 'The Actual Dance'

Obasi performs Simon's one-man, one-act play June 23 and 24 at the DC Black Theatre & Arts Festival

By David Siegel, DC Metro Theater Arts - June 6, 2019

"It is what I am supposed to do in my life," The Actual Dance playwright Samuel A. Simon told me in a phone interview. He was speaking about the play he developed and has performed that began when he and his wife Susan received the diagnosis that she had Stage 3 breast cancer.

The Actual Dance is a one-act, one-hour, one-actor play about the transformative power of love. It will be produced at the 2019 DC Black Theatre & Arts Festival. The solo performance at the DC Black Theatre & Arts Festival features Manhattan-based actor Chuk Obasi.

In a recent phone interview, Obasi noted that he began taking on the role of Sam in The Actual Dance in 2016. He was drawn by the opportunity "to re-imagine the telling of Simon's story after having previously viewed his performance several times prior."

"The Actual Dance is a powerful piece. It is a universal topic. It says something about humanity." At the DC Black Theatre and Arts Festival, audiences will witness an adaptation of The Actual Dance in which they can "project their own lives upon the issues raised," added Obasi. "It can speak to their own experiences. They can relate to it."

In our conversations, playwright Simon spoke passionately that "The Actual Dance is core to me as my wife's longtime love partner. I feared I was going to lose her. I had to find the strength to do what I didn't think I could do even as I thought my heart was going to break." Over time and with survivorship, "I have learned is not only a journey for the person with the cancer, it is also for all of those who exist in the circle of love for the cancer survivor."

Choreographed and directed by Kimani Fowlin and performed with live original music for violin and guitar composed by Eli Katz Zoller, The Actual Dance is a "journey through a husband's eyes, soul and heart," noted Simon.

As for the meaning of its title, The Actual Dance is a metaphor, explained Simon. It is the nightmare he and his wife Susan were living through together. "The ritual of holding the one you love as they take their last breath is real to me and I think many of the love partners of people who have or have had cancer."

Simon made clear that The Actual Dance was told not through a patient's perspective but from the viewpoint of a husband and love partner. Simon indicated that he was not only a caregiver but a love partner on the journey with his wife Susan. He went on to say that on the journey, "she was the stoic and grounded one."

For Obasi, taking on the solo role as Sam in The Actual Dance will bring something new even "as the words are the same, a play about love." Obasi noted that he is younger than Sam, and from a different background. Obasi also "has a dance background and moves about the stage during the performance with an energy different than Sam's."

Both playwright Simon and actor Obasi consider The Actual Dance as "life-affirming." They hope audiences will "come prepared to be changed and see life differently." There will be a talk-back after each performance.

Asked what audiences have been saying about the production, Simon provided one in particular. An audience member, during a production in Indianapolis, said, "I saw your play Thursday evening and it has changed forever how I will relate to my wife. Thank You."

So be ready for a special production about a tough matter; cancer and how people, a loving couple, respond to it. It promises to be an engaging theater piece, one with music and movement meant to inspire. While told from one man's perspective, The Actual Dance is aimed at all audiences. After all, who among us has not already been touched by cancer or will be in the future?

Obasi made the connections to cancer personal for him. He dedicates his performances of The Actual Dance "to the memory of his friend Bobby Kashif Cox, lost to cancer but ever present in spirit."
This is no spoiler alert for the love story that is The Actual Dance; it has a happy ending.

The Actual Dance plays Sunday, June 23, 2019, at 5 p.m. and Monday, June 24 at 7 p.m. at Anacostia Playhouse - 2020 Shannon Place SE, Washington, DC. Purchase tickets online.

Note: Obasi will serve as Artist-in-Residence this summer at the Caribbean Museum for the Arts in St. Croix, US Virgin Islands. He is also a recipient of the 2019 Zelda Fichandler Award.

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Chuk Obasi in _The Actual Dance._ Photo by Emily Hewitt Photography.

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BWW Interview: Samuel A. Simon of THE ACTUAL DANCE at Evelyn Rubenstein Jewish Community Center

Actor/Playwright Samuel A. Simon takes us on a journey through battles of cancer through his uplifting piece THE ACTUAL DANCE. The story comes from Samuel's point of view as he, and his wonderful wife Susan, travelled through her battle with Breast Cancer. Showing the audience, that what really matters, come hell or high water, is that we continue to love. I was bestowed the honor of speaking with Samuel Simon after his performance at the Evelyn Rubenstein Jewish Community Center. Discussing the inspiration, purpose, and process on his own true story of him and his wife.

I read in your bio that you've done a lot of work in the D.C. area, but watching your show, and discovering you and your wife are from Texas, what made you choose to come back and perform here in the Houston area?

Samuel A. Simon: I've been wanting to do it in Houston for a long time, and Susan's family's here. So last night her brother (and sister-in-law) Melvin and Rose, who are in the play got to see it ,they hadn't seen it. I first developed it in New York: Kate Holland (director), Gabrielle Maisels (dramaturg), Eli Zoller wrote the music, and I have been so fortunate to have a wonderful team around that me that has enabled me to find...and it [the show] found me, and therefore I found it.

I noticed your Director's Statement describes THE ACTUAL DANCE as your "fourth age". Could you care to go into further detail as to why exactly this phrase?

Samuel A. Simon: Part of it is that it found me. "Third age" is often called retirement. My main thing was I was a lawyer, I worked for Ralph Nader. I had a high profile in Washington for a while: I did News Years Eve 1984, I was Good Morning America about the break up of phone companies, and wrote two books there. I later sold my company, got out of that, and started social justice work in New York for a non-profit. So I call this my "fourth age" because it was during that work, and doing my theatre work and improv, I loved improve work. I'd go to Artistic New Directions of New York, and they should get credit. Every summer they held these improv retreats in the Catskills and I'd go to them. There I met Gary Austin, Michael Rock, Carol Fox Prescott, and Gabrielle my Dramaturg. I call it the "fourth age" because it's what I do now. Everything in my life, was done in order to enable me to do this.

This wonderful creation you have made uses the allusion of "The Dance". What made you decide to use the reference of the dance for this performance piece?

Samuel A. Simon: Because that's what really happened. Everything in that show was real, and happened to me. I love the metaphor, and I now come to understand that there is... when you are confronted with an existential moment-life and death, I believe that your soulmate and you eventually become one soul. It may sound odd to you because there are a lot of variations of expression and what love really means. Yes it's also about breast cancer, it's also about care giving, but it's really about what love really means. You and the person, and so then what is the biggest gift you can give someone you love? It's holding their hand as they take their last breathe, so that they know they're loved. It only happened because she got sick, and only because she was supposed to die. There's this idea-you don't want her to get breast cancer, you don't want anyone to get sick, but look what good thing happened as a result. It's a contradiction, it's a tension, and theatre is full of that. That's what makes theatre. First criticism of the show was, "Beauty. Dignity. What about the shop owner laying on the streets, shot in the neck, gurgling blood, where's the beauty and dignity in that?" I had to confront, because it happens more than once: what about the sudden moment when you can't be there? When the phone rings... I've learned through performance and writing that there is still a dance, still a choice. It still happens, its just done differently. My expression is of how it happened once, but an invitation for people to understand that their ultimate act of love, is to be with them somehow. Even when it happens that way, that the soul and the essence of the one you've loved is still loved.

For the most part, a lot of people I think when it comes to stories of battling cancer, you see so many shows that deal with the person themselves. Most of the world, we avoid such serious topics like this, or if they are brought up we tend to hide the hurt, or if you're a performer you Take That hurt and extend it. You extend it to the point, that at the end of the show, the audience is emotionally exhausted. What do you believe is your job/purpose as a creator with this performance?

Samuel A. Simon: My mission for the show, is that everybody who needs to see this show has an opportunity to do so. It's a very complexed question, I didn't come onto this with "I'm gonna go do this, or fix people, or give them this." I was telling a story...that was inside me, that I didn't know was inside me. My teacher Gary Austin saw it in LA ,and afterwards he hugged and cried and said he loved me. That's the depth of the impact of the show on people, and I didn't know that. There's a gift in the show that I wrote that I didn't know. It's having found that, and having that found me. I'm trying to give expression to that gift, I'm trying to find the best way to do it over and over again. And how I perform, it doesn't change the words, but it changes how I present the words over time.

For people who are getting into a performing world, or who are part of this world already. If there was any advice, especially with a extremely personal piece like this, any advice or words you could tell these people, what would they be?

Samuel A. Simon: Hmmm.....I'm a Mamet fan. In this regard, and that is basically- it's funny because Mamet says Just deliver the words. He's not a character actor kind if, your job is to deliver the words. I love story telling in this regard. I encourage people to find the stories in their lives that have important lessons, and then use theatre as a way of-not talking about themselves-but expressing what they learned. I think it's a huge gift to people, and to the world to have those lessons that are available to be delivered. And for an actor, I think you have to almost release and be as honest to yourself, and the words as your own playwright. Letting everything go, not trying, don't push.

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‘The Actual Dance’ a public look at love and cancer in one-man play
By AARON HOWARD | JHV•
October 4, 2018

It’s sad when two loving souls face leaving each other because of a life-threatening illness. Sam Simon’s one-man play, “The Actual Dance,” details his fears and his emotional roller coaster when wife Susan was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Simon and on-stage musicians will perform “The Actual Dance” on Saturday, Oct. 13, at 8 p.m., and Sunday, Oct. 14, at 3 p.m., at the Evelyn Rubenstein Jewish Community Center.
Far from a relentless dark or depressing experience, “The Actual Dance” is also a love story. It’s about the compassion and care one soul can give to another in times of stress and anxiety. 
Sam and Susan spoke with the JHV about going through cancer as a caretaker and as a patient. First thing to know: Susan is doing fine these days. It has been 18 years since she was first diagnosed, and there has been no recurrence since she was pronounced as cured.
When Sam first took on the role of caregiver for his wife, he had to learn he was not in charge.
“Susan initially received the diagnosis she had stage 3 breast cancer. We had to choose an oncologist to lead the treatment. There’s a line I speak in the show: ‘My job is not be the director. My job is to be the supporter.’ I’ve often thought about it in retrospect,” said Sam.
Relationships can be torn apart by the stresses of dealing with cancer. There’s no single right approach to supporting one’s spouse – although there are many destructive approaches.
“I supported Susan’s choices,” said Sam. “Had she died, would that have been the right answer? I can’t really answer that. It worked out well for us.”
Many people who deal with cancer handle it privately, choosing to reveal the diagnoses only with family and a few close friends. In contrast, writing a play about dealing with cancer is as public as one can get. 
Their initial approach, which is outlined in the play, was to keep it private. Susan didn’t tell anyone about the biopsy. When the test results came back positive for stage 3 breast cancer, she realized they would have to tell a few people.
“After our children, the first call we made was to our temple, Rodef Shalom,” said Susan.
“[It] had a breast cancer support group back then. A support group is a good source for answers when things happen. Should I be concerned? Is this the way things are supposed to happen? The support group helped me, but the spouses were not involved. It’s still that way.
“I had a friend who was a cancer survivor, and she gave me some guidelines. I surrounded myself with positive people. I didn’t want any negativity going into this.”
Meanwhile, Sam was taking his own journey.
“Putting Susan’s name on the synagogue misheberach list was the public unveiling that she had cancer. But, I kept most of what I was feeling inside me. I didn’t want to show any of my dark side to Susan. I wanted to be strong. I tried to marshal the support around Susan.”
Sam began writing the play in 2012. Susan had been cancer-free for many years. He admits it would have been a different play if, G-d forbid, Susan’s outcome had been different.
Sam was new to play writing, but was active in community theater in the Washington, D.C., area for about 15 years. He trained in improv, starting with Sylvia Toone in Washington, and working with Artistic New Directions of New York through its annual Improv Retreats in the Catskills.
“I would spend a week during the summer doing improv work, where some of the bits and pieces of what was inside me about these experiences took shape,” said Sam. “People really connected with the character pieces. The play started as an improv narrative skit of 20 minutes in length. A dramaturge guided me in turning the narrative skit into a fully produced one-man show.”
All the while, Susan had no clue Sam was writing “The Actual Dance.” 
“Susan didn’t know what the play was really about. In September 2012, we were scheduled to meet friends in New York. My friend was going to stage a reading of this play publicly. The gig was up. I had to tell Susan about the play. So, we’re sitting on the train from Washington on the way to New York, and I handed Susan the script. I said, You have to read this.”
Susan read through the entire script.
“My tears were flowing, and I said to Sam, ‘I had no idea you felt like this.’ He was so supportive throughout that time, I never realized he was depressed or felt he might lose me. He was worried all that time, and I didn’t pick up on it because he was trying to be so positive for me.”
One of the threads of the show is Susan’s mother, Houstonian Bertha Kalmans, who passed away from breast cancer. A few years later, Sam’s mother also died of breast cancer.
“Those experiences were at the center of me going dark,” said Sam. “I was sure the cancer would kill her, while Susan always believed it wouldn’t. With cancer, it might not end life, but life is never the same.”
Did we mention the play is a love story?
“There’s a love story beginning how we met at a BBYO convention in Texarkana, where we first noticed each other,” said Sam. “I believe the play is about what love really means: The ability to be with the person you love most in the world as they take their last breath. That’s the ultimate gift you can give to someone you love.”




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Chron.com Staff report, October 3, 2018

‘The Actual Dance’ takes the Stage at the J

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Sam Simon's "The Actual Dance" tells the story of his wife’s victorious battle over breast cancer from the point of view of a husband and caretaker supporting his spouse through her journey. Photo: Courtesy Photo

Sam Simon's "The Actual Dance" tells the story of his wife’s victorious battle over breast cancer from the point of view of a husband and caretaker supporting his spouse through her journey.

Sam Simon’s new, highly theatrical one-act play, “The Actual Dance,” which will arrive in Houston for an exclusive, two-performance run on the weekend of Oct. 13 and 14.

Theatre at the J, the theatre program of the Evelyn Rubenstein Jewish Community Center (the J), is offering “The Actual Dance” as the first offering of its 2018-19 season. It is offered as a special event in partnership with Congregation Beth Yeshurun Sisterhood and the Houston Chapter of Hadassah. The Saturday evening performance will begin at 8 p.m. Oct. 13, and the Sunday matinee performance will begin at 3 p.m. Oct. 14.
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A “meet the cast” reception will be held following the Saturday evening show.

Performed by its author Sam Simon, “The Actual Dance” tells the story of his wife’s victorious battle with breast cancer from a unique point of view - that of a husband and caretaker supporting his spouse through her journey. In his performance of “the dance,” Simon will be accompanied by two, live, on-stage local musicians - Marc Garvin on guitar, and Sonya Matoussova on cello. Both Saturday and Sunday performances will be followed by a question/answer talk-back session with Simon and his wife, Susan.

While “The Actual Dance” has been performed in numerous venues across the country, the special collaborative effort bringing the play to Houston audiences is especially meaningful for Simon, who was married to his wife, Susan Kalmans, in Congregation Beth Yeshurun’s J. B. Greenfield Chapel in 1966.

According to Vicky Richker, co-president of Congregation Beth Yeshurun Sisterhood, “The Sisterhood works with the synagogue, congregants, and other organizations to sponsor events that are timely, educational and entertaining. We are honored to partner with the J and the Houston Chapter of Hadassah to present The Actual Dance - such a moving story of love, perseverance, and survival.” Richker and Barbara Koslov are co-presidents of Congregation Beth Yeshurun Sisterhood.

Debbie Angel, president of the Houston Chapter of Hadassah, concurs that this partnership is an especially rewarding endeavor for Hadassah, known for their research in breast cancer. Much of the underlying work to identify the genetic markers for breast cancer was done at Hadassah Hospital. Hadassah also works toward strong U.S./Israel relations while sponsoring and operating several social service programs, and scientific/medical research and treatment.

Tickets are $25 and are available at erjcchouston.org/theatre or by calling 713-729-3200.

Visit www.erjcchouston.org for more information about our programs and services.

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The Times of Israel, February 3, 2018
by Joshua Stanton

It is a rare moment in theaters large or small that a packed house gives its due in resounding applause after a show. It is rarer still that the audience sticks around because they want to talk about a show that has so moved them.

After one Saturday evening’s performance of The Actual Dance, a one-actor show that recently featured at the Studio Theater at Theater Row in New York, few audience members moved. Instead, these near-perfect strangers opened up to each other on the heals of a common and meaningful experience.

As a long-time family friend of the playwright and performer of The Actual Dance, I was given the chance to moderate the post-performance “talk-back” conversation. Though I would have attended and done my best for a friend whether or not the show was fulfilling, I was struck by the depth of audience participation and just how stirring they (and I) had found it.

People I had never met shared of losses in their lives, loved ones they had cared for, and spiritual questions that illness had evoked. One spoke of a sibling who had been in a serious accident and was currently in the hospital. A fellow member of the clergy spoke of his faith – and reliance on it in moments when he found himself supporting or advising congregants. I found myself in role as rabbi, rather than moderator, because of the pastoral outpouring.

What seemed evident that Saturday evening was how infrequently we give voice to caregivers. Those people who support loved ones day in and day out, as those loved ones contend with serious illness, are often so selfless in their devotion that we pay less attention to their experiences, pain, hurt, and worry. When we see them, we more often ask about their loved one than about how they themselves are doing.

With uncharacteristic openness about this topic, the Actual Dance shares the story of one caregiver, my friend Sam Simon, who supported his wife Susan from the time she was diagnosed with breast cancer through the end of her treatment. As Susan’s prognosis worsened with time, it brought up earlier sources of pain in his life. Sam makes the connection in the play between his enduring pessimism about Susan’s prognosis and the loss he had experienced decades earlier, when his mother had died of breast cancer. Crying at doctor’s appointments and social encounters even when Susan was able to remain calm, he does not hold himself up as a paragon of strength, but rather an all-too-human being taking part in a sacred and incredibly challenging effort to be present for his wife at a time when his own sense of well-being is being shaken.

So too does the role of caregiver change Sam’s experience of his synagogue community. It remained a clear source of support throughout Susan’s illness. But hearing his wife’s name read on the Mi Sheberach list for those in need of healing evokes profound pain and worry – which still seems present on his face years later when he sings the Mi Sheberach as part of the performance.

The scene Sam recounts of the synagogue social hall is equally eye-opening. Usually a place of mirth and connection, it becomes overwhelming to Sam (and perhaps Susan as well) after Friday evening services. Sam bursts into tears when Susan shares her diagnosis with a friend from the community in public for the first time. It is hardly a space in which he feels comfortable crying.

Sam also shares openly of the hurt he felt when his beloved rabbi did not respond in the way he had hoped during a moment of particular anguish. Sam isn’t rebuffed, but he isn’t adequately heard either. His sense of urgency and need to confide in his rabbi at that very moment is one best understood by those giving care and too often missed by clergy, myself included. Sam was bracing himself for the loss he sees as all but inevitable. It can be difficult for others, including clergy, to discern that struggle and separate it from other emotions that caregivers might be feeling and the highs and lows that can sometimes coexist in a single day for them.

Even as Susan remained determined and even reasonably hopeful, Sam kept seeing a dance assemble before him – the dance of death. A dance of which he is now a part. A dance that he crystallizes in his play.

Instrumentalists join him and his wife on the stage of his mind’s eye. The song starts. Sam begins to dance with Susan. The end of Susan’s life feels all too near.

But to Sam’s astonishment, having all but foreseen the worst, the dance ultimately stops – not to be continued for the foreseeable future. Susan’s treatments are successful. Their love story can continue in absence of anticipatory fear of imminent loss.

Was it all in his mind? Would that make it any less real to him?

To me, as a friend of Sam’s, I felt shaken to see some of what he experienced as a loving caregiver. How little I knew and understood at the time. To me as a rabbi, I felt shaken by the recognition that so many others could well have had (or be having) similar experiences.

To audience members, including members of the theater community and clergy, what seemed most striking was just how much the performance gave them permission to share their own fears – of inadequacy in caring for others, of loss and bereavement, of confusion, of the enduring sense of being in limbo.

The Actual Dance is about death, but Sam’s actual dance is about the delicate steps and emotional paces of caregivers, giving themselves wholly over to the support of a loved one. It is a dance to which all religious communities should become more attuned.

About the Author
Rabbi Joshua Stanton is Spiritual co-Leader of East End Temple in Manhattan. He previously served as an Assistant Rabbi at Congregation B'nai Jeshurun in Short Hills, New Jersey and Associate Director of the Center for Global Judaism at Hebrew College. He was a Founding co-Editor of the Journal of Interreligious Studies and one of six finalists globally for the $100,000 Coexist Prize. His articles only represent his own personal views.


The Acutal Dance at the Avon39 Chicago Walk to End Breast Cancer

Chicago Jewish News - May 19-25, 2017
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Jewish playwright takes on wife’s cancer diagnosis

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April 21, 2017

Sam Simon, a Jewish playwright and actor, will perform his play that portrays how his Jewish faith helped him support his wife during breast cancer, at the upcoming Tampa International Fringe Festival.

The award-winning play, The Actual Dance, is an off-Broadway love story that opens a rare window into the mind and soul of a husband and caregiver after receiving the news that his wife has cancer.

The Actual Dance transforms the stage alternatively into an otherworldly place called The Ballroom with an orchestra that in the show includes a cellist and classical guitarist; hospital rooms and doctors offices; flashbacks to first dates; and into the here-and-now.
Simon will perform the play at the Hillsborough Community College Studio Theater, 2112 W. 15 St., Tampa. Performances times are Thursday, May 11, 8:35 p.m.; Saturday, May 13, 3:20 p.m.; and Sunday, May 14 at 1:20 p.m. General admission tickets are $12.

For more information contact Misann Ellmaker at (727) 580- 6261 or email misann@imagineconsulting.me.


Strange Bedfellow Makes $3K+ Donation to Life With Cancer

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Falls Church’s Strange Bedfellow recently presented a check for more than $3,000 to Life With Cancer, which provides assistance for cancer victims and their families locally. The funds were raised by Strange Bedfellow’s production of “The Actual Dance” last month.
Written and acted by McLean resident Sam Simon, “The Actual Dance” is about how a woman’s cancer diagnosis changes life for her family – and especially her husband. The play was presented twice on Sunday, Feb. 23, at Creative Cauldron at ArtSpace Falls Church.
Strange Bedfellow is composed of more than a dozen Falls Church civic and charitable organizations, including a Boy Scout troop, both the local Democratic and Republican parties, community and neighborhood associations, the League of Women Voters of Falls Church, the Falls Church Lions Club, the Falls Church chapter of the American Association of University Women, and the Village Preservation and Improvement Society.
For more information about Strange Bedfellow, visit StrangeBedfellow.com.


Review Fix 2016 MITF Coverage:
Chuk Obasi Talks ‘The Actual Dance’

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by Patrick Hickey Jr. on 11/02/16

Review Fix chats with actor Chuk Obasi who discusses his role in the new production, “The Actual Dance,” which is set for a run at this year’s Midtown International Theater Festival.About the Production:

THE ACTUAL DANCE by Sam Simon, directed by Kate Holland; starring Chuk Obasi. A graceful and inspiring love story that opens a rare window into the mind and heart of a husband caregiver as his wife confronts her breast cancer and they both discover what love really means. (Solo Show/Drama)
This play has been rewritten from its original (a Jewish couple after decades of marriage) to a young Christian couple.
Performance Schedule: Mon 11/07, 8:00pm; Tues 11/08, 6:00pm; Sat 11/12, 8:30pm; Sun 11/13, 4:00pm
Running Time: 60 minutes.
Venue: Jewel Box Theater, 312 W. 36th Street.
Review Fix: What was the inspiration for this project?
Chuk Obasi: There were a few for me.  One was to honor people in my life who are at different stages of this journey that Sam and Susan traveled.  Another inspiration was simply the honor of even being approached to tell this story.  I’d seen Sam perform this piece twice and knew how special it was.
Review Fix: What’s your creative process like?
Obasi: It involves lots of observation and study, self-reflection, meditation, memorizing, empathizing, and fear!  In this case, with this being a one-man play, it also involved breaking down the script into segments, or scenes, that helped me to find and understand the arc of the story.  I put lots of faith and trust in my director, and vice versa, which made for a really safe and smooth overall process in the midst of the challenges of becoming this version of Sam.
Review Fix: What makes this different or special?
Obasi: It’s not as common in my experience to see a one-man play where the story isn’t based on the performer’s actual life.  Stepping into this role previously created by, performed by, and based on the life of Sam Simon, its most certainly a new approach to the character.  People who may have seen this play before with Sam playing himself might feel like in a way they are watching a new piece.  It’s also obviously the same piece in many ways.  What’s more special is the differences between me and the real Sam Simon.  We are very different in age, race, religion, and geographical upbringing – yet Sam recruited me for this play on purpose;  To show how universal the experiences of love, loss, fear, and transition are.
Review Fix: What did you learn about yourself through this process?
Obasi: I learned that Sam and I have something in common – we love our wives deeply!  I also learned that I’m way more afraid to lose someone I love than I am of dying myself.  I think I already knew that, but that notion has been reinforced in a way that I’m reminded to be thankful for every second I have with family and friends.  And I learned that I’m capable of memorizing a 25-page monologue!
Review Fix: How does it feel to be a part of something like this?
Obasi: I feel blessed because this is a relatively rare type of challenge for an actor to be given.  I also feel a strong sense of responsibility to tell a story that will most certainly resonate with people in a very emotional way.  I carry the emotions of a room for an hour at a time, and I feel that every time.
Review Fix: What are your ultimate goals for this production and for the future?
Obasi: I simply hope to bring the story to as many audiences as I can.
Review Fix: What do you think your audiences will enjoy the most?
Obasi: They will enjoy the clarity of the narrative, the tracking of the several “characters” in the story, and the beautiful accompanying music created by Eli Zoller.
Review Fix: What’s next?
Obasi: For me personally, lots of great things on the horizon, including the continuation of this play.  I’m truly fortunate.


Cancer Scare Serves as Backdrop for New Play

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August 11-17, 2016


There’s no getting around it: The Reaper will come for us all, and no one truly is prepared to grapple with that reality until the end.

McLean resident Sam Simon underwent this existential crisis in 2000 when his wife, Susan, had a near-fatal brush with breast cancer.

Simon poured his observations and emotions into a one-man play, “The Actual Dance,” which has been performed more than 100 times.

“I am humbled by the fact that people have told me it has changed their lives,” Simon said. “Men, in particular, don’t talk much.”

“The Actual Dance” refers to the sensation Simon experienced during his wife’s health crisis. He imagined a brightly lighted ballroom with an orchestra tuning their instruments, all for the moment when he and his wife would have to part for good.

His wife was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 54, just two years younger than her mother was when she succumbed to the disease.

Simon’s mother also died from breast cancer in 1973. Simon had an out-of-body sensation then and said he saw the whirlwind of her life spirit departing.

“People will come up to me after the show and tell of similar experiences,” he said. “They’re afraid to talk about it out loud for fear of being called crazy.”

The play interweaves flashbacks of Simon’s courtship of his future wife and of her previous medical scares and surgeries.

“The Actual Dance” is highly autobiographical, and Simon admits to some discomfort at making the details public. His wife knew he had been writing the play in the second half of 2012, but it was not until they were headed to New York for a performance the following year that Simon read it to her on the train.

“She’s been very supportive and tries to come as often as possible” to the shows, Simon said. “We usually have discussions afterward and she joins the conversations.”

He also came up with pseudonyms for the doctors, one of whom, “Dr. Happy,” still works at Inova Fairfax Hospital.

Simon usually performs the play himself, but he has adapted it for an African-American actor, Chuk Obasi, who performs in New York. The revised version omits parts centered around Simon’s Judaism and reflects Obasi’s younger age.

Simon, the father of Del. Marcus Simon (D-53rd), formerly worked as a lawyer with Ralph Nader and now chairs the Leadership Council at Intersections International.

The play prompted Simon to take charge of his own health, dropping from 225 pounds in 2012 to 155 today.

“If my wife hadn’t had cancer, I wouldn’t have done this,” he said. “The play evokes a revelation that to be with someone you love is a privilege.”

Simon will give a free performance of the play on Aug. 16 at 7:30 p.m. at Temple Rodef Shalom, 2100 Westmoreland St. in McLean. The show will be one week before the couple’s 50th anniversary. To R.S.V.P., visit http://trstad816.eventbrite.com and search for “The Actual Dance.”


My Time: Hospice's 'The Actual Dance' plays to a full house

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March 30, 2016


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Ben Marcantonio, left, president and CEO of Hospice of the Chesapeake, stands with playwright and actor Samuel Simon at the performance of Simon's one-man play "The Actual Dance." (Courtesy of Elyzabeth Marcussen / HANDOUT)
Around 130 people attended "The Actual Dance," a one-man play written and performed by Samuel Simon, on March 6 at Unity by the Bay Church in Annapolis.

Sponsored by the John & Cathy Belcher Institute, an education and advocacy collaboration of Hospice of the Chesapeake, the play tells the story of battling cancer from the perspective of the caregiver and was followed by a discussion and a question-and-answer session. Proceeds benefitted the Wellness House of Annapolis and METAvivor.

"I enjoy being in a room where so many people get it," Simon said. "These stories and this topic are deep. It's about what life and love really means."

For more information, visit www.hospicechesapeake.org.



Sam Simon's "The Actual Dance" explores illness and end of life through the eyes of the caregiver

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When Sam Simon thinks back to his wife Susan's breast cancer diagnosis, he says he pictured a ballroom.

"If the news was good one day, the ballroom would be silent," he said.  "If the news was bad or grim, I could see the musicians start to set up, the ballroom would light up."

Simon compares his experience as caregiver to his wife, and his worry about losing her to cancer, like a ballroom dance.  His concerns for how he would dance "his last dance" with her became the inspiration behind his one-man play "The Actual Dance."

"This is about a space that is very under acknowledged and recognized," Simon said.

Susan was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in 2000.  Her mom died of breast cancer and so did Sam's mom.  Sam says because of his experience with cancer in the past, he "went dark" very quickly with Susan's diagnosis and worried he would lose her.  But he says he tried to remain positive and supportive, as Susan battled through the treatments.

Thankfully, Susan survived and is now cancer-free.  It was a few years after that when Sam's thoughts and feelings about the whole ordeal resurfaced while he was taking improv classes.  He was told to write about something he knew, so he chose to write about his experience as Susan's caregiver.

"The reaction of people who heard pieces of it changed me, I was surprised," he said.

So Simon wrote more and his play "The Actual Dance" came to life, using the metaphor of the ballroom he always kept in his mind while going through Susan's cancer treatments.  Sam has no acting background; he worked for years as the head of his consumer affairs consulting group.

"However this feels like the most important work I've ever done in my life," he said.  "I have now discovered that theater has great power and it can change people’s lives."

Simon takes his play on the road, performing all over the East Coast. On March 6, he'll be performing at the Unity by the Bay Church in Annapolis, as part of the John and Cathy Belcher Institute's new series "Courageous Conversations."  For more information on how to purchase tickets, click here .




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January 27, 2016

‘The Actual Dance’ is a conversation starter for Hospice educational outreach program

Samuel A. Simon knows how to get people talking. He started speaking out as one of the original members of Ralph Nader’s very first legal advocacy group, known to many as Nader’s Raiders. He would eventually start his own consumer affairs consulting group and continued the discussion as an expert that national news programs would turn to as well as Phil Donahue and Oprah Winfrey.
 
Now, as the playwright and actor of the one-man play, “The Actual Dance,” he wants people to talk about life. And breast cancer. And death.
 
The play began as an acting exercise where his acting instructor told him to “write something you know about.”   He wrote an introduction about his role as caregiver to his wife, Susan, who was battling stage 4 breast cancer and read it to a rapt room. “You could hear a pin drop,” Simon said.
 
That was the beginning of what he says is first and foremost a love story. It is told from a unique vantage point — that of the caregiver who also is facing great loss. “(The play) gives permission to talk about it,” he said.
 
That is why the John & Cathy Belcher Institute, an education and advocacy collaboration of Hospice of the Chesapeake, decided to sponsor a benefit performance of the award-winning play at 2 p.m. March 6 at the Unity by the Bay Church, 4 Pointless Forest Trail, Annapolis. It is the perfect introduction to the institute’s next series of Courageous Conversations, free 90-minute community discussions designed to share information, provide helpful tools and provoke thought for families facing the prospect of difficult choices and conversations around end of life. The sessions will be held throughout the spring in Anne Arundel and Prince George’s Counties.
 
“Sam’s play touches on several important topics that will be presented in the Courageous Conversations series – including patient empowerment, the needs of the caregiver, coping with grief,” said Laurie Harrison, director of the Belcher Institute. “People who attend the play and later participate in one of our Courageous Conversations will appreciate how it all connects.”
 
A discussion will follow the play. Simon said acting before an audience that includes cancer patients, their families and other caregivers affects him, too, and though he’s performed the play nearly 100 times, he will often discover something new. “I enjoy being in a room where so many people get it,” Simon said. “These stories and this topic are deep. It’s about what life and love really means.”
 
Tickets cost $25 per person or $40 per couple and can be purchased at http://www.annapoliswellnesshouse.com. Sponsorships are available. Proceeds from ticket sales will benefit the Wellness House and METAvivor. Call 443-837-1527 for more information.


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Review Fix Exclusive: Sam Simon Talks ‘The Actual Dance’
Review Fix chats with playwright and performer Sam Simon, who discusses his production “The Actual Dance,” which is set for a two-day run at APAP in NYC on Jan. 15-17 and The MedStar Franklin Square Medical Center on Jan. 20 in Maryland. Breaking down the inspiration and creation process behind the intimate performance, Simon lets us know exactly why it’s a special piece of theatre.
Listen to the interview here»


Emotional Paces of Caregivers: “The Actual Dance”

By Joshua Stanton, February 3, 2015

It is a rare moment in theaters large or small that a packed house gives its due in resounding applause after a show. It is rarer still that the audience sticks around because they want to talk about a show that has so moved them.

After one Saturday evening’s performance of The Actual Dance, a one-actor show that recently featured at the Studio Theater at Theater Row in New York, few audience members moved. Instead, these near-perfect strangers opened up to each other on the heals of a common and meaningful experience.

As a long-time family friend of the playwright and performer of The Actual Dance, I was given the chance to moderate the post-performance “talk-back” conversation. Though I would have attended and done my best for a friend whether or not the show was fulfilling, I was struck by the depth of audience participation and just how stirring they (and I) had found it.

People I had never met shared of losses in their lives, loved ones they had cared for, and spiritual questions that illness had evoked. One spoke of a sibling who had been in a serious accident and was currently in the hospital. A fellow member of the clergy spoke of his faith – and reliance on it in moments when he found himself supporting or advising congregants. I found myself in role as rabbi, rather than moderator, because of the pastoral outpouring.

What seemed evident that Saturday evening was how infrequently we give voice to caregivers. Those people who support loved ones day in and day out, as those loved ones contend with serious illness, are often so selfless in their devotion that we pay less attention to their experiences, pain, hurt, and worry. When we see them, we more often ask about their loved one than about how they themselves are doing.

With uncharacteristic openness about this topic, the Actual Dance shares the story of one caregiver, my friend Sam Simon, who supported his wife Susan from the time she was diagnosed with breast cancer through the end of her treatment. As Susan’s prognosis worsened with time, it brought up earlier sources of pain in his life. Sam makes the connection in the play between his enduring pessimism about Susan’s prognosis and the loss he had experienced decades earlier, when his mother had died of breast cancer. Crying at doctor’s appointments and social encounters even when Susan was able to remain calm, he does not hold himself up as a paragon of strength, but rather an all-too-human being taking part in a sacred and incredibly challenging effort to be present for his wife at a time when his own sense of well-being is being shaken.

So too does the role of caregiver change Sam’s experience of his synagogue community. It remained a clear source of support throughout Susan’s illness. But hearing his wife’s name read on the Mi Sheberach list for those in need of healing evokes profound pain and worry – which still seems present on his face years later when he sings the Mi Sheberach as part of the performance.

The scene Sam recounts of the synagogue social hall is equally eye-opening. Usually a place of mirth and connection, it becomes overwhelming to Sam (and perhaps Susan as well) after Friday evening services. Sam bursts into tears when Susan shares her diagnosis with a friend from the community in public for the first time. It is hardly a space in which he feels comfortable crying.

Sam also shares openly of the hurt he felt when his beloved rabbi did not respond in the way he had hoped during a moment of particular anguish. Sam isn’t rebuffed, but he isn’t adequately heard either. His sense of urgency and need to confide in his rabbi at that very moment is one best understood by those giving care and too often missed by clergy, myself included. Sam was bracing himself for the loss he sees as all but inevitable. It can be difficult for others, including clergy, to discern that struggle and separate it from other emotions that caregivers might be feeling and the highs and lows that can sometimes coexist in a single day for them.

Even as Susan remained determined and even reasonably hopeful, Sam kept seeing a dance assemble before him – the dance of death. A dance of which he is now a part. A dance that he crystallizes in his play.

Instrumentalists join him and his wife on the stage of his mind’s eye. The song starts. Sam begins to dance with Susan. The end of Susan’s life feels all too near.

But to Sam’s astonishment, having all but foreseen the worst, the dance ultimately stops – not to be continued for the foreseeable future. Susan’s treatments are successful. Their love story can continue in absence of anticipatory fear of imminent loss.

Was it all in his mind? Would that make it any less real to him?

To me, as a friend of Sam’s, I felt shaken to see some of what he experienced as a loving caregiver. How little I knew and understood at the time. To me as a rabbi, I felt shaken by the recognition that so many others could well have had (or be having) similar experiences.

To audience members, including members of the theater community and clergy, what seemed most striking was just how much the performance gave them permission to share their own fears – of inadequacy in caring for others, of loss and bereavement, of confusion, of the enduring sense of being in limbo.

The Actual Dance is about death, but Sam’s actual dance is about the delicate steps and emotional paces of caregivers, giving themselves wholly over to the support of a loved one. It is a dance to which all religious communities should become more attuned.

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Theater Review: THE ACTUAL DANCE

By Ryan Leeds -

Jan 24, 2015

 

We’ve heard the marriage vows. Some of us have even stood at the altar uttering those words of matrimony to “love and honor one another until death do us part.” For Samuel A. Simon and his wife, Susan-a couple who will soon celebrate a 50 year marriage-the bleak reality of Susan’s cancer diagnosis in the Spring of 2000 gave their vows a lasting and meaningful significance which exemplify and honor their lifetime committment to one another.

The Actual Dance , written and performed by Simon, is his solo account of first receiving news that a presumably benign lump had been found on Susan’s breast through a later diagnosis of stage 3 breast cancer. The idea of “waltzing into death” hardly seems like the type of uplifting theatrical fare. For the Simon family, it was more akin to a living nightmare. Yet under the direction of director Kate Holland and Samuel’s poetic style , The Actual Dance  becomes a life affirming ode to committment and boundless love.

Simon opens his story with a matter of fact analogy that all of us will one day dance in a celestial ballroom. Upon hearing the news of his wife’s medical reports, he describes how he could see and hear the orchestra begin to form (his intuition that it may be the beginning to his beloved wife’s end). He then chronicles the frequent doctor visits, frustration with the medical community, and his wife’s immense ability to  simultaneously keep her husband strong and face her own mortality. While this description of those details is swift, Simon’s recalls each painstaking moment with profound and descriptive clarity. His approach leaves the audience with a reflection of those who have had to dance this dance with their loved ones and a deep gratitude for the gift of wellness. Simon’s warm, engaging, and kind personality bring  even more richness to this wonderful piece of theater and his accomplished musicians, Kristine Kruta (cellist) and Matt Dure (guitarist), add vivid reality to the  story. Although  he has a legal background and has served in the Army as a JAG Captain,Simon’s  greatest role might be that of a caregiver. It is difficult to believe that this is his first play, since his tale is  executed with such grace and professionalism.

For many family caregivers, the burden of being there to shoulder family health problems can seem overwhelming. With The Actual Dance , however, Simon is offering a stoic story of hope that is sure to encourage and inspire.

The Actual Dance plays through Feb. 1st at Theater Row (W. 42nd between 9th and 10th ave.). It is also available to be performed  in a variety of venues  upon request. For tickets, Samuel’s blog, videos, visithttp://www.theactualdance.com Discounted tickets are available for $16.25 by using code “TRTADCARE” at the checkout

Thanks to the generous support of EmblemHealth https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUthdkimXSzsHfYY_VuJAyvyuOTmCIqee , the play also offers a post-show talk back on the work and a chance for audiences to reflect on their own experience. At this particular performance, the talk back was led by Rev. Gregory Johnson, Director of Emblem Health’s Care for the Family Caregiving Program.

 



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Ted Merwin
Special To The Jewish Week
January 2015

Caring for a loved one who is terminally ill is one of the most agonizing things that a person can do. For Samuel Simon, a lawyer turned playwright who is now performing his one-man play, “The Actual Dance,” his wife’s breast cancer diagnosis launched both members of the couple on a harrowing journey into the workings of the human heart.

In addition to taking a rarely seen male perspective on a disease that afflicts mostly women, the show, which is running on weekends only through Sunday, Feb. 1 at The Studio Theater on Theater Row, presents a husband’s perspective on his desperate attempts to nurse his wife back to health — or, if that fails, to guide her through the final stage of her life. (Spoiler alert: She made a miraculous recovery.)

Directed by Kate Holland, “The Actual Dance” ($26.25; telecharge.com) traces the changes that were triggered in a 34-year marriage when Solomon’s wife, Susan, was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer in 2000. The play takes place in two settings, that of the hospital room/doctor’s office and that of an imaginary hotel ballroom where a waltz gets out of control. In a flashback, Solomon revisits the trauma of his mother’s death, also from breast cancer, in 1973. Onstage, musicians perform the original music, by Eli Zoller, that Solomon commissioned for the piece.

The playwright was a protégé of consumer rights crusader Ralph Nader in the early 1970s, before launching his own public relations consulting firm to sensitize large corporations to the needs of their diverse customer base. He told The Jewish Week that “The Actual Dance,” which is his first play, is about “finding integrity in the most difficult task of life.” Convinced that his wife was going to die, because she met the criteria for Stage 3 cancer in three different ways, Simon found that one of the hardest things for him was supporting Susan without having her worry about how he was dealing with the stress of her illness. “I needed to be a rock for her,” he said.

The couple disagreed about where Susan should seek treatment. Although they live in Northern Virginia, Simon wanted to take her to a place that did cutting-edge treatment, such as the Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York, the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn., or the National Cancer Institute in Bethesda, Md. “People were clawing to get into those places,” he said.

But Susan insisted on being closer to home at the Inova Fairfax Hospital, a community hospital that treats a large number of cancer patients. Solomon reluctantly acceded to his wife’s wishes. “I’m used to being in charge; I ran my own company and couldn’t work for someone else. But now, instead of being the director, I needed to be the supporter and let her make the decisions about her own care. It created another whole level of friction between us.”

The couple has belonged for many years to Rodef Shalom, a Reform congregation in Falls Church, where both husband and wife have served as president. They are also both on the Board of Overseers of Hebrew Union College (HUC) in New York. Inevitably, they immediately fell back on Jewish ritual as a source of support. At one point in the show, Simon chants the “Mi Sheberakh,” Debbie Friedman’s prayer for healing that has increasingly moved from the synagogue into a variety of health care settings.

“The Actual Dance” has been especially enlightening for medical professionals and rabbis who get a glimpse into the psyches of patients and their caregivers. In performing it at the University of Arkansas School of Nursing, the Hudson Valley Health Alliance, and other similar venues, Solomon was told by audience members that the play enabled them to be more sensitive to their patients’ needs.

When he performed “The Actual Dance” as the closing event of a breast imaging conference at the University of Virginia School of Medicine, Simon heard audible sobbing from the radiologists, oncologists, and others in attendance. Dr. Jennifer Harvey, who runs the hospital’s breast imaging center, told him when a patient receives a call with a cancer diagnosis, he or she typically remembers every detail of that moment — the date, time, place, sights and smells. But the doctor might forget a week later that he or she ever placed that call.

“It’s so important for me to be a vehicle for the doctor to understand the illness from the patient’s perspective,” Simon said. Among the most gratifying comments was one that came from a woman who saw the play in New York and told him that she had recently lost both of her parents. “The play gave me a whole new frame to understand what we went through,” she told him.

Rabbi Nancy Wiener directs the Blaustein Center for Pastoral Care at HUC, where Simon did a preview of the play for her pastoral counseling class. The budding rabbis learned, she told The Jewish Week, that helping the family members of a loved one who is sick may be just as important as working with the patient. “Rabbis often ask how the ill person is doing without checking in with the family members,” she said. “Sam was able to set the stage for the kind of experience that they will encounter in their work. The rabbinic students were able to hear what caregivers may be thinking, but is rarely verbalized.”

Indeed, “The longer an illness lasts,” Rabbi Wiener noted, “the more likely it is that the patient is the only one who gets asked any questions.” While Jewish tradition teaches the importance of bringing meals and offering emotional support to caregivers, she reflected, “American society doesn’t speak the same language of doing a mitzvah for those grappling with a loved one’s serious medical condition.”




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MEDIA INFORMATION:

Click here for the media kit for The Actual Dance

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This Event ended Feb 1st, 2015
Review by Courtney Marie
 

In life, we are taught to prepare for the worst but hope for the best. Never before has this popular adage had more poignancy than in The Actual Dance, written and performed by Samuel A. Simon. Instead of spending his golden years relaxing and celebrating his family, Mr. Simon has been given a new journey: playing the role of caregiver to his wife of over thirty years who is suffering with cancer. With every doctor's appointment, phone call, new diagnosis and surgical procedure, Simon tries to prepare himself for the inevitable day he knows is coming -- when it's finally their turn to dance 'the actual dance.'

Under Kate Holland's direction, Simon presents himself as completely human from the moment he takes the stage. He has a very personal and difficult story to tell, yet he isn't looking for sympathy or pity; he is just trying to express what he has been through. He takes us through every step of the journey, pausing to admit that often times, his sick wife was the one who had to comfort him. Like any other human being in that kind of situation, and probably a good part of the audience, Simon finds that connection point because of his honesty.  He also has a natural, engaging presence on stage and can hold an audience for a hour or so with his expressive skills. Although we were not present at the places that became like second homes to him -- the hospital, doctor's clinics, his synagogue -- the way he describes the people he interacted with and what the setting felt like allows a picture to form in your mind. A very impressive talent.

While Simon is speaking and explaining the metaphor of an orchestra preparing for the 'actual dance' that haunts his mind, live musicians join him on stage to set the scene. The show's music is arranged and composed by music director Eli Zoller, and plays a huge part in the storyline. Echoing the thoughts, fears and emotions of Simon, the music gets closer and louder as time passes, leading towards the grand finale of life. It has the elegance and beauty expected of a waltz, and as his journey progresses, Simon learns that the music he 'hears' may not be a death march, but may in fact represent beauty and love.

Once Simon accepts the journey for what it is, that's the moment when real life begins. I won't give away the ending, but it is the sweetest surprise I've ever encountered in theater, guaranteed to make tears well up in your eyes.

In addition to delivering a terrific performance, Simon gives a brave gift to us all -- the gift of community and strength -- as well as an important resource for anyone who has ever had to care for a sick relative and felt alone. The Actual Dance is proof that life, is indeed, beautiful.

 

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ON STAGE: Waltz into darkness

Touring one-man play 'The Actual Dance' examines breast cancer from husband's perspective

By Ted Mills, News-Press Correspondent

Share Story
August 29, 2014 12:14 AM

"The Actual Dance"
When: 8 p.m. Thursday
Where: Center Stage Theater, Paseo Nuevo
Cost: $18 general, $12 crew or walkers from Avon Walk for Breast Cancer

Information: 963-0408, centerstagetheater.org

Samuel Simon calls it his "fourth career." Now a playwright and performer in his late sixties, it took him a full career to find his calling. After decades of being a lawyer, advocate and businessman, it was his wife's brush with breast cancer and mortality that pushed him in semi-retirement out from behind a desk and conference calls to standing alone on stage for "The Actual Dance," coming to Center Stage Theater this Thursday. How did this happen?

"I'm an actor and a playwright," he says. "And that is such an incredible thing to hear myself say." Right out of law school he worked for Ralph Nader, then joined the Army, then worked in D.C. and at the Federal Trade Commission. He then created a public relations firm at the dawn of the Internet, which turned out to be nicely profitable, enough to retire. In 2000 Mr. Simon started to take improv classes in New York City for personal development, taught by veterans from The Second City and the Groundlings. Around the same time, his wife Susan was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer.

At first he didn't bring those experiences into improv. These were major life decisions he was going through, having to figure out exactly how to help his wife, help himself, and how to face death, or as he says in his statement, "How to dance the last dance" with his wife, and how to create "the ultimate consummation of our love."

But before that, characters came out in improv, among them a caricature of Susan's doctor. People responded well, and by 2012, Mr. Simon had hired a dramaturge to help shape his writing and his characters into a play. In two months they had the full script, hosted a reading, and the reactions that told him to press forward.

"I had friends coming up to me," he says, "like one man, he said, 'I had prostate cancer and I never understood why my wife acted the way she did, and now I think I know.' " Others commended Mr. Simon on giving voice to the other half of the couple in a cancer-stricken relationship. Nobody, they told him, has told the man's side of breast cancer.

"I know now this is what I need to do with my life," says Mr. Simon. "It's been like a gift. But it's also been like walking off a cliff."

Susan knew her husband was working on a play, but at first he didn't want to read it to her. "I don't know why I didn't," he says. When a visit with friends prompted a reading, he finally relented. "There were tears.

"I say things I learned that many people think but don't say out loud because people may think you're crazy," he says. "I sat with my mother when she died, and I did feel her spirit leave her body. You think you're crazy at the time."

Now for the good news. Susan recovered and now is fitter than she was before her diagnosis, placing her in a very small percentile. She has walked 12 of her 14 years since the diagnosis in the Avon Breast Cancer Walk, and this performance coincides with the walk through Santa Barbara. (Mr. Simon's been on four walks.)

"The Actual Dance" has played New York, D.C., Indianapolis, and in his home state of Virginia, and he hopes to bring it to more places after Santa Barbara.

"It's a love story and it has a happy ending," he says, summing it all up.


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It’s a love story about one man’s journey through his wife’s breast cancer diagnosis. “The Actual Dance” will be performed at the Indy Fringe Festival. Sam Simon talks about writing the story, and what he wants others to learn.

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Strange Bedfellow Makes $3K+ Donation to Life With Cancer

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MARCH 17, 2014 11:26 AM

Falls Church’s Strange Bedfellow recently presented a check for more than $3,000 to Life With Cancer, which provides assistance for cancer victims and their families locally. The funds were raised by Strange Bedfellow’s production of “The Actual Dance” last month.

Written and acted by McLean resident Sam Simon, “The Actual Dance” is about how a woman’s cancer diagnosis changes life for her family – and especially her husband. The play was presented twice on Sunday, Feb. 23, at Creative Cauldron at ArtSpace Falls Church.

-- read more here -- 


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Talking about the unspeakable, through theater

Written by Marji Yablon For the Poughkeepsie Journal

Sep. 29, 2013

The man on stage seems to be speaking to each of us individually. He is describing thoughts and feelings most of us hesitate to reveal. After he shows us how he and his wife learn she has breast cancer, he wonders aloud whether she — his one true love, the one he married before either of them had even finished college, the one to whom he’s been married for more than 30 years — will be less attractive to him after her mastectomy. He muses over how it might feel to him, a man who has never lived alone, if he is to end up with the whole house to himself, his two children already grown and on their own.

He relates an out-of-body experience, false alarms and false good news. He lets us know he has moved his work materials to his wife’s hospital room, so he can remain with her during the days of her surgery and recovery. He muses that now, having already watched his mother and several other relatives die: “It is my sacred duty to take Susan on that same journey.”  After that uplifting statement, he is compelled to add, “I just don’t know if I can do it.”
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A friend’s invitation provides unexpected, meaningful blessing

Written by Harriet P. Gross For Texas Jewish Post

August 29, 2013

This is the way networking is supposed to be: You join a group, meet people and good things will happen. And so it has happened to me!

One day recently, I had an email from Marion Garmel, an Indianapolis resident with whom I became acquainted last year in Scottsdale,  Ariz., at the National Federation of Press Women’s annual conference.

“I’m in Dallas for a big family reunion,” she told me. “And as part of the event, my brother, who has written a one-man play, is opening it to the public. Knowing you are interested in writing about Jewish activities and theater, I thought you might want to see it.”

The next afternoon, I was seated in a meeting room turned into a makeshift small theater in the Westin Park Central, watching Sam Simon perform “The Actual Dance.” He has already done so at a number of venues including the Midtown International Theatre Festival in New York and the Fringe in Washington, D.C., which is his home.

The subject matter is grim: How does a man react when his wife is diagnosed with late-stage breast cancer? But my father of blessed memory, a truly caring physician, always used to say, “Take whatever you get, and do the best you can with it.” Sam has done just that with a real-life story, that of himself and his wife Susan.

Sam almost literally waltzes out in front of his audience, setting an imaginary stage. He shares his vision of a grand ballroom in which an orchestra is starting to play someone’s special song. And as that someone, with partner, begins to move, Sam realizes that this is the someone’s last dance — the actual end of that someone’s life. Watching Sam, I could see the ballroom, hear the musicians tuning up and picture the dancers stepping onto the floor…

This is not a stereotypically stoic man. Sam is raw emotion as he recounts, in words and movements, the course of Susan’s illness; the unexpected discovery of the cancer and the unrelenting cheerfulness of “Dr. Happy,” which finally flags when the doctor has to admit to a misread biopsy. Susan’s lymph nodes were indeed highly involved, and disease remained despite the double mastectomy. Sam is not afraid to cry in public.

…read more here …

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"The Actual Dance" Review

Written by Alexis Woo for StageBuddy

“The Actual Dance,” is a passionate and moving one-man play written by and starring Samuel A. Simon. It is based on Simon’s personal experience with cancer and it is a story told from the rarely seen perspective of a man whose wife has just been diagnosed. The audience walks beside Simon on his journey as he fights to keep his sanity, despite the fact that he may lose the person he loves the most. It was exceptionally thought-provoking and emotionally stimulating, causing almost the entire first row to tear up throughout.

Although Simon wasn’t the one diagnosed with breast cancer, he was the one reacting most intensely at the checkups, while his wife remained stoic and seemingly numb to everything. He met his wife Susan in his teens, and married her in his early 20s, so she was the only woman he had ever been in love with. To find out in his 50s that the rest of his life may be void of her was an irreparable trauma. The journey he embarks on is a wild fear-inducing roller coaster for the pair, in large part due to their extremely optimistic doctor whose diagnoses change from week to week.

Simon tells the audience about a “dance” that goes on his mind – described as a very random and uncontrollable experience where he could be in the real world one moment, and then suddenly he’s in a wonderful ballroom playing a waltz melody. Although it may sound peaceful, Simon feels rather uncomfortable every time it happens and tries hard to snap out of it. The instruments are too noisy as they start being tuned, and the scene keeps popping up and intruding on his real life. He is also quite confused as to what this dance means, and if he’s going crazy because normal people don’t have “out of body” experiences. Only at the end of the play does he come to terms with this dance and look at it as something to be embraced.

The Actual Dance is part of the 2013 Capital Fringe Festival. Simon used this opportunity to not only express support for who’s ever personally dealt with cancer, but also to bring into light just how real cancer is. One of the most powerful aspects of it was that it was all based on a true story – Simon’s own personal life – and was extremely genuine and raw. It was eye opening for those that haven’t been in that situation before, and it allowed the audience to gain more empathy for those who have.

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Tent Talk: Writer and Performer Sam Simon

Written by Hunter Styles for DC Theatre Scene

July 23, 2013

I find Sam Simon at the Baldacchino Tent in the afternoon, sitting with his director Jessie Roberts and enjoying a few moments of calm before showtime. After our interview he’s headed around the corner to perform The Actual Dance, a solo show chronicling his wife Susan’s battle with Stage 3 breast cancer beginning with her diagnosis in 2000.

Sam’s not a trained actor, although his accomplished career as a lawyer and public advocate speaks to his eloquence and smarts. “I learn by doing,” he says. “There’s no substitution for just stepping out onstage and doing it. That’s given me encouragement over time.”

Sam Simon, author and performer of The Actual Dance

The Actual Dance has indeed had time to grow, born of Susan’s and his experiences with cancer for over a decade now. “This play has become a real passion of mine,” Sam explains. “It’s born out of my own experience. Pieces of it have evolved over the years. But the telling of this story is always true to me. Honestly, I do it for self-development.”

…read more here...

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nytheatre.com Q & A Preview with Samuel A Simon

June 17, 2013 What is your job on this show?
Playwright and Solo Performer.

What is your show about?
A true story, but does it really happen? A tale full of out-of-body experiences, sounds, images, dreams, and a Ballroom for the dance that we will all one day dance. Sam’s life reconfigures as his wife battles breast cancer and he prepares for The Actual Dance.

When did you know you wanted to work in the theater, and why?
Theater was magical in our house as I grew up. I remember watching my sisters perform in plays such as 'Our Town' and being totally captivated. I did some school and community theater and then got caught up in "life." And then about a decade ago I returned and rediscovered a deep passion, which has turned into what may indeed be my entire purpose in life.

Who is more important in the theater: the actor, the playwright, or the director?
This is a trick question. The most important role in Theater is the Audience. One of the most important lessons I learned was that no one but the audience member gets to decide on what the play or work means or what the words mean. Having said that, I don't think it is fair to give anyone greater importance. Each has an important role to play, and what is exciting is that you can mix the group -- change the play, the director or the actor and the result is something brand new and original in its own way.

Do you think the audience will talk about your show for 5 minutes, an hour, or way into the wee hours of the night?
The Actual Dance provokes incredible reactions from the audience. It has been in development for just about a year. Each reading and then each developmental performance provoked incredible audience reactions. Everyone is touched in some ways. Indeed, even though I wrote the play and am the solo performer, I learn from the audience something new after each performance. Indeed, the risk is that people may be changed forever by their engagement with this show.

…read more here…

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Capital Fringe Review: ‘The Actual Dance’

Written by Mike Spain for DC Metro Theater Arts

July 15, 2013

3 + STARS

The Actual Dance is not a one man play. It is a heartfelt dramatic sharing of what Samuel A, Simon experience after his wife of 33 years was diagnosed with breast cancer. Simon emotionally shares with the audience his unique perspective. We hear the stories of people who battle cancer all the time, but we rarely hear the stories of the love ones who stand by their spouses when they have cancer, and here we do.

Simon talked about breaking down and crying and how his ill wife, Susan, comforted him, while battling cancer. He explained how he had to learn so many new medical terms so he could understand his wife’s condition and the medications she was taking.

Simon weaves a creative bit about ‘the dance.’ He tells of a makeshift orchestra coming together for that final dance and how the orchestra warms up, how they start to play their song, and how they can suddenly stop mid-tune and pack up and leave. It is when they play the song completely that someone dies and that’s the ‘Actual Dance.’ The dance is something Simon believes will happen, something he dreaed to talk about until his psychologist helped him gain new insight on the dance – that it was a really a thing of beauty and dignity. Perhaps the ‘Actual Dance’ was not something to fear, but a graceful way to leave.

…read more here…

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Capital Fringe: The Actual Dance

by guest writer Sam Simon for DC Theatre Scene June 20, 2013

It turns out that The “Actual Dance” has been inside me for nearly 13 years – and maybe longer.  I just did not know it until I began to write it, and then it just poured out.  It is as if the show itself existed inside of me and needed this time and place to appear.

The Actual Dance began as a brief monologue developed as part of Carol Fox Prescott’s acting class in New York City.   It was the first time I felt safe to begin to tell this story.  I was afraid because, even as I wrote it, I thought it would make me seem crazy. The surprising, strong positive response to the monologue stimulated me to write “the rest of the story.”  In April of 2012, with the help of Gabrielle Maisels, a dramaturg and talented solo artist, I finished the script.

You see, The Actual Dance is a true story.  But did it really happen?  You must decide as you wander through the mystical world of spirits, out-of-body experiences, and a love so deep it seems tangible.  Susan, my wife of 33 years, was finally diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer after years of false alarms.  The Actual Dance is the story of what happened after that diagnosis.

But let’s step back a moment. My first career was as one of the first lawyers to work for Ralph Nader.  I went on to create a company that pioneered in building winning coalitions for public advocacy in Washington for 25 years.  In my “third age” I served as a Senior Fellow at Intersections International in New York, a multi-faith initiative of the Collegiate Church devoted to justice, peace and reconciliation.

The Actual Dance represents a “fourth age” for me. As an Actor, I trained and worked with Artistic New Directions in New York for the last 15 years, as well as training in Gary Austin Workshops, with acting teacher and coach Carol Fox Prescott, and most recently with Gabrielle Maisels as dramaturg for The Actual Dance and as my solo show and acting coach and with my director, Jessie Roberts, who is an accomplished actor and playwright as well.

…read more here…

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2013 Capital Fringe Show Preview: ‘The Actual Dance’ by Sam A. Simon

Posted on June 23, 2013

A Rare and Courageous Male Voice Brings to DC Fringe the Unique Perspective of the Love Partner in the Breast Cancer Struggle

The Actual Dance is a true story. But did it really happen? You must decide as you wander through the mystical world of spirits, out-of-body experiences and a love so deep it seems tangible. Sam’s wife of 33 years was finally diagnosed with breast cancer after years of false alarms. The Actual Dance is the story of what happened after that diagnosis.

The characters and the story resonate deeply with all those who have faced a cancer diagnosis in a loved one. There is a gap in the cancer “ritual.” There is support for the patient. There are infrastructures for the care givers. There is little, if any, discussion or support for those in a love relationship to the person diagnosed with cancer. The Actual Dance is about that difficult place and gives voice to the range of emotions, fears, love, and the occasional comedy.

…read more here…
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FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THE ACTUAL DANCE
Contact Samuel A. Simon for information and media inquiries:
info@theactualdance.com • 202-329-1851 (mobile)
www.TheActualDance.com

PRESENTED BY:
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Mr. Milt Orkin, Responsible Agent, at Producers, Inc.:
milt@producersinc.com • 813-988-8333 • www.producersinc.com

(c) 2012-2021 All rights reserved The Actual Dance, LLC